What about endorphins?

Today started off well.  I got up, got everyone going, didn't forget Ben's project, and even typed up a rough draft Nolan had written in the 10 minutes we had left before dropping them off at school. (I don't really need to say that this draft is something he 'forgot' to ask me to help out with last night, do I?)  So they were a little late--but everyone had their stuff, I'm not sweating a tardy slip.  And I didn't even raise my voice once.  (new a.m. record)

Mr W invited me to lunch, and I managed to jump in the shower, change the girl, let her go potty again before we left, while I threw the pup into his crate...and we were only 15 minutes late.  It was okay, because so was he.  I even scooted over to ASU after we were done to pick up a few nifty Sparky antenna balls. Nothing says "I love my school" more than having your mascot grace your vehicle with the antenna shoved up its butt.  (Maybe I should've gone with a bumper sticker.)  While I was there, I'd even parked at a meter and didn't bother to put change in it, and no one was the wiser. 

I should've known all this karmic goodness would come to an end sometime today.

It started when I decided to go in search of some pants I saw the other day, and should've just bought, but nooo, I'm a girl about it, I needed to shop around; and today, they were all gone.  Then, I realized that lunch was not going anywhere.  I was soooo full!  I decided to change into my running clothes, for comfort, and so that I could run as soon as we got home from aikido.  Gotta pay the piper, especially after I missed a couple of days...

I knew the run tonight was going to be hard, I just had a feeling about it, but I forced myself to go anyway.  I can do this.

No, I can't.   The last time I was that breathless, whispering out religious expressions, the ending was much more enjoyable than doubling over at the end of my block wishing for a stunt double.  It was truly craptacular, the degree to which I just, well, sucked.  To top it off, my iPod also decided that my performance was subpar, and halfway through my ordeal, I'm listening to Eric Clapton, and it stopped working.  I was almost more upset about that than I was with myself!  I think it just overheated and the battery was low, so it checked out for the night.  I was just standing over it, sprinkling it with holy water, a few minutes ago.  I think it's gonna be ok.

As for me, I don't know.  I realize not every run will be fantastic, but I'd really been excited lately because I'd made progress.  Not being able to duplicate the good run I had the other night just wrecked my "me" time.  I'm not shooting for the Olympics, people, but come on...a little jaunt around the neighborhood shouldn't be all that hard.  "You've given birth,"  I remind myself, "what's a few more feet?  another 30 seconds?  don't stop, don't stop, don't stop..."  and then I stopped.  Dammit. Where's my oxygen?  Where's my hot personal trainer?  Oops.  Sorry.  Endorphins can wreck havoc with my already overactive imagination.

I finally get everyone down for the night, and am messing with some pictures here on my computer, and the site I need is shut down.  WTF?  <eyeroll>  Of course it is.

Tomorrow, I'm hoping things will go smoothly.  I'm hauling my butt out of bed early to walk the dog, and stretch out my legs before the real fun begins.  Audrey has a dental appt, and she's getting a filling.  She'll be sedated for this, so I have to keep her from eating or drinking anything between now and then.  She is not above going to help herself in the kitchen, so I made her stay up late, hoping that she'll sleep until the last minute, and I can get her into the van without her drinking anything.  It's impossible to reason with a hungry/thirsty 3 yr old, so this could be interesting.

And I have to manage to get 'em all out the door on time, if not a little early, so we can make it to her appt without rushing.  LOL, I should just call ahead and let them know I'm running a bit late right off the bat, right?

Maybe if I have enough faith, karma will swing back in my favor.  I hope so, because with the exception of conjuring up a hot personal trainer, my bad showing tonight tells me my endorphins aren't going to be any help to me at all.