So this is what this place looks like, huh?
By some miracle, I am still up. For how long--well, that's another story. Hopefully I can get through this without drooling on the keyboard.
Not much new going on in my house other than a lot of same-old-same-old routine: get 'em up, move 'em out, and pick 'em up, do-your-homework; sprinkled in with trips to the grocery store, my work, and the gas station. Lots of trips to the gas station.
One night last week, I fell asleep in the living room, which is not all that surprising.
I woke up and sleepily toddled off to our room, making a pit stop in the bathroom.
I had just stuck my thumbs into my waistband and was in the process of the mid-drop-trou sitdown when my spidey-sense started tingling.
Something caught my eye on the ground, right under my foot...because it was moving. Fast.
I stood up, yanking my foot up in the process, expecting -yuck- a cockroach (it was that type of moving fast).
Oh. Just a scorpion. About six inches long. Under my foot.
I gasped loudly, that "huugh!" intake of breath that makes you shiver. I stepped back and bent over a bit to get a better look, goosebumps erupting, forced to evaluate and formulate a plan.
I wasn't fully awake, but you know, that fight-or-flight thing is pretty good at making one snap-to.
Running through the potential weapons I had in the bathroom at the time, I decided an eyelash curler probably wouldn't do the trick, so I opened our bedroom door to go in search of a shoe.
Preferably something along the lines of a size 20 Doc Marten, but alas, Mr W has small feet and all we own are pretty much sneakers.
The light from the bathroom, combined with my "huugh" woke Mr W. "What?" "There's a scorpion in here." "Kill it." "Duh. I'm getting a shoe."
Quickly, I grabbed one of my heavier shoes, and I hurried back into the bathroom. I closed the door and took a deep breath, aimed and gave it a big whack. (You cannot hesitate, it's gotta be a good one, or why bother--it will scurry away.)
It crumpled a little, and oh, is that tail still moving??? WHACK.
I decided beige goo = dead enough so I cleaned it up off the floor and gave it a burial at sea.
I did my business, shuddering at how close I came to stepping on it. At this point, I was a little too adrenalized to sleep, and decided to watch a little tv to calm down. (I really wanted to go room to room and make sure I had no more guests, but 5 am is kicking my ass, so I knew I better settle down and go to sleep or live to regret it.)
Turning off the light, I exited the bathroom, and expected to hear a "did you get it?" and maybe a pat, pat, "are you okay?" but instead I heard...snoring.
My hero, I sighed as I walked down the hall.