"Mommy, what's ??"

Today I'm having a "huh?" day.  The sprouts are coming up with some interesting questions.

This morning they were watching Shrek2 so their evil mother could journal, and all of a sudden my 8 yr old pipes up:  "Mommy, what's lust?"  "Huh?" "What does lust mean?"  Ummm, let's see it's not even 9 am, and I'm supposed to field that in a way he can understand...  "It's when you want something really, really badly and you can't have it."  "Oh, you mean like a cookie?"  Umm, no, let's try again.  "No, not like a cookie, sugar."  Head for the dictionary, let's see if Webster can pull me out of this one.  "Lust: to have an intense desire or need; CRAVE: specif: to have a sexual urge."  Gee, thanks.  (I read it to him anyway, because I figured I could always fall back on blaming the dictionary when he's in therapy.)  I then said, "You know, sugar, lust really applies to relationships that adults have with each other, and you won't really understand it's true meaning until you are older.  So for now, the cookie will work just fine.  Just don't be sprinkling that word in your everyday conversations."  I mean, really, what was I supposed to do, tell him that lust is that specific burning in your loins that makes you ache with desire every time you see or hear the object of that desire?  That craving that eventually overcomes every fiber of your being until you feel like surely you will burst into flame if you don't satisfy it?  Yeah, that would go over well. 

Then later on today, my 10 yr old and I are just hanging out, I'm finally eating dinner and he's working on some homework, he asks me "Mommy, is Santa for real?"  "Huh?" "Is Santa for real?"  Umm, I'm torn between ponying up to the truth or just letting him believe.  I'm touched that he still might harbor that little hope that Santa is real and I am reluctant to bust his bubble.  So I come up with "Well, sugar, why are you asking this?"  "Because the other kids say he isn't."  "What do you think?" "I think he is real."  Whew.  "Well, mi vida, what you believe is what is important here.  If you think he's real, then he's real, and don't worry about what anyone else says."  Umm, Mommy, your nose just grew about a foot.  I am all about preserving their innocence, their right to be a little kid.  They get bombarded with so much crap every day and I just try to sort it out so that they aren't jaded by 11.  While some people might disagree with this overprotectiveness, I have to say that I have stressed to all of them that they can come to me anytime with any question, and while I might need a minute to compose myself (with or without a shot of whiskey) I will always answer them honestly.  Unless it's about Santa.

I also have my 6 yr old wanting to change his name.  "Mommy, can I be called Roy?" "Huh?"  "I want to be called Roy from now on instead of Ryan."  Umm, son, please don't tell me this will eventually be your porno name.  "Why?"  "Because I like that name better.  There's an R and a Y in it, so it's not that big of a change."   So I started calling him Roy.  The big kids thought he was nuts.  Mr Wonderful thought I was nuts, and was kinda pissed about it "he won't answer to his real name if you keep calling him Roy"  "But if we make a big deal out of it (hissed through gritted teeth) he will never drop it."  I also pointed out to Mr W that as his family hails from the South, he should have expected that eventually we'd have child that goes by the nickname and not the real name.  Hell, half his family back in GA goes by initials, why sweat about 'Roy'?   Well, Roy has decided to go back to his real name, at least for now.  Which saves me the Roy Clark/Hee Haw visual I got every time I said "Roy." 

SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED (SWMBO) has thankfully given her mother a rest today.  I'm sure that means she'll be up to no good tomorrow when I have to spend the day volunteering at the school.

But at least it's Friday tomorrow, and no one will look at me twice if I hit the bottle before noon, will they????