Thursday, November 11, 2004

Own it, work it, it's yours

I was watching my daughter playing the other day, and thinking, like all moms do, how breathtaking she really is.  She is adorable, she knows it.  When someone says she is cute or pretty, she smiles and does something else cute and moves on.  I say 'thank you' and resist the urge to say, 'AND she's really smart too.'  She doesn't say 'oh, no I'm not' or 'but I was working in the yard all day' or 'you're crazy' or 'you need glasses'.  She moves on.  She takes it and doesn't make excuses or apologies--she owns her sense of beauty.  I think all children do. 

So I got to thinking, when do we lose that?  Why?  Is it due to the hypercritical (but well-meaning in her eyes) aunt that says things like "It's a good thing you didn't get your mother's nose or you'd never find a boyfriend." "You'd be prettier if (fill in the blank)."   Is it during adolescence, that wonderful time of my-body-the-freakshow, when all your friends are pointing out their flaws and waiting for you to add your own?  Is it because everytime you see an ad or commercial you think to yourself "I'd look great if I had those (fill in the blank)."  Hey, man, those images are not always real.  Airbrush, anyone? 

I think we should all reclaim our own sense of beauty, because no matter what you think about yourself, there are always qualities that make you you that someone else will appreciate, and if you are lucky, celebrate.  Let's face it, we all get a zit now and then, some of us are going gray, those little lines are starting to appear on their own (along with the other charming odd places that chia pet hair suddenly appears on, like chins and out of ears), and eventually, unless you know someone that can offer surgical assistance, gravity will win.  No one lives life without the details of the battle showing up somewhere, whether you are 15 or 50. 

Stop beating yourself up about it, and find something that you like, and work it.  Be like those eccentric old ladies in purple dresses with red hats.  Get that bra that boosts the sisters back up to where they used to be.  Lose the chia pet.  Pick one thing that makes you feel more confident and do it.

There's nothing wrong with realizing and maximizing your strengths.  Hopefully, it will help you feel good enough to take the compliment and move on without shooing it away.

I will do everything I can to make sure she never loses her sense of her own beauty (and I don't mean to achieve it by making her conceited.)  I'll do it for my boys, too.   As for me, I'm a work in progress.  Aren't we all?

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