Mood: grumpy. a little blue. but I'm digging this pink.
I am thinking of installing a soundproof booth in my house, my own cone of silence. Someplace with maybe a chair or two, nothing elaborate, no fountains or aromatherapy, just a place to sit. And think. Alone. Where the cries of "MO-OM, where are you?" "Mommy, what are you do-ing?" "Mom!" "MO-OM!!" "Mom???" will not be heard. Maybe I'll pipe in something soothing to listen to. It would definately need to be big enough for Mr W to fit in with me. Then maybe we could have a conversation get beyond "so, I was telling you..." "MOM!" "Look, unless there's something on fire, go away, I'm talking to your Dad" "so, anyway, honey, the funniest thing happened.." "MOM!" "now what (through gritted teeth)? Get out of here if you want to live!" -sounds of bickering from other room- choose to ignore them as no blows seem to be exchanged, no blood is flowing-- "this lady called, and.." "MOM!" --can't be ignored. Conversation interruptus. Go deal with the problem, and forget what I was saying before. By now Mr W is engrossed in what is that, another rerun of JAG? Go back about my other business, let at least one of us have some peace.
I could use it to talk on the phone too. My 10 yr old informs me all the time of the things he 'overhears'. Really, the little &#%*! is creeping up the hallway to listen. I know. I've caught him. I ask them to leave, I've shut the door, I've gone from room to room--only to be followed with the tenacity of bloodhounds on the scent. I have a quiet voice, if I speak any lower, the person on the other end can't hear me, so I speak loudly, then EVERYONE can hear me. I like to think I am able to speak freely, and not censor myself, and curse if I need too. But I'm not. Oh, no, there are a few metiches (nosy busy bodies) in my house. It's annoying. I am reduced to holding conversations with people in my car, on the way home from work, if I want privacy. Man, privacy. Just saying it makes me giddy. I want MORE.
I want to be able to start speaking...without doing recon down the hall to see if anyone's there.
I want to be able to start speaking...without looking over my shoulder every two seconds to see who's snuck in.
I want to be able to talk to my husband about something that doesn't involve the safe subjects of school, the kids, their friends, their activities...them. I'd settle for talking about the weather, for crying out loud.
I want to speak in a normal voice, not a pseudo whisper that only I can hear.
My cone of silence will also probably need room for the computer. In the time I've been writing this, I've fielded a phone call (that I took in the garage, and was followed by both kids that are home--'where are you?'), three requests of 'are you done, yet?', two fights, and uncountable bouts of loudness (Mr W is asleep--he works nights, give him a break).
Aahh, the cone of silence. A mere figment of my imagination, unless they are all sleeping.