Mr W's favorite story

Yesterday, Mr W felt compelled to make my friends laugh a bit because we were serious and sad after attending the funeral...it wasn't irreverent or anything, Dr G wouldn't have minded, he of the wicked sense of humor...

These are his two favorite stories, and I am seriously a bit embarrassed by one of them, and he loves that, lol.

I think I may have written about this one, I'm sure we'll be telling it forever...

Nolan came into the kitchen one day, barefooted.  He stepped on a huge thorn that must've come in from our backyard (they're nasty things and stick to our shoes no matter how hard we try), and yelped.  "Can I cuss?" he asked me.  "Um, okay," I said, looking at the size of the thorn he pulled out of his foot.  Now, I'm expecting a garden variety "Oh, shit!" to come out of his mouth, not the full blown "FUCK!!" that he let loose.  I was a little shocked, but didn't scold him, he asked, I said ok.  Mr W heard him from our bedroom, he was that loud.  I bite my cheek to keep from laughing and go to tell him what happened, and can't get the words out because I'm cracking up.  Mr W laughed too, but we did eventually tell Nolan he really isn't allowed to use that term...(at least not within earshot, lol..)

The other one I feel Mr W will trot out for his own amusement everytime someone says that I'm a patient, good Mom...

On Christmas morning, after we'd all opened all our presents, Mr W went back to bed.  Later that morning, he is awakened by my voice telling Ben "You are going to learn how to put those god-d***ed rollerblades on by yourself our I am going to shove one up your a**!!" Complete with tight jaw and hair standing on end.  Mr W claims he decided to get out of bed at that point lest I throw open the bedroom door and tell him to get out of bed before I shoved a rollerblade up his a** too.  He said "At that point, I realized Mommy had had enough, and that perhaps I should give her a hand, and a time out too."

In my defense, I had just spent the morning cleaning up our wrapping mess, taking all of Audrey's Barbie stuff out of the box (I swear,some of it required a screwdriver to unscrew the toys out of the packaging), grouping everyone's stuff together to put away, dealing with the "mommy, mommy, mommy" demands, and getting frustrated while reading online that I really did need Windows 2000 for the iPod to work.  And I knew Ben could put the skates on, he'd done it for his Dad, and this was about the third time I'd been called upon to help him with them...so I snapped.  Hey, it'd been a busy week, and I'd handled it all (so far) somewhat gracefully, I'm allowed one once in a while. 

Mr W can't make it through the entire tale without laughing.  I cringe inwardly, but I laugh too, poor Ben.  What's the comeback for an 8 yr old to a screeching harpie Mom?  Again, one for the therapist to address.

My friends, of course, were amused.  It felt good to hear each other laughing again.  Mr W really brought down the house when he said "You get it all at my house.  Action, drama, comedy...who needs to spend 6 bucks at the movies when you can sit around your own living room and watch all that?"