Monday, January 24, 2005

Smells like home

I have to laugh at myself sometimes.  I am so eager to go to work, yet I am such a sucker when I hear a little voice say "Are you going in tomorrow?  Aww, do you have to?"  (And that's just Mr W, lol.)  I go in as early as I can, so I can get home asap; this means I hit the road at ~yawn~ 6, 6:15-ish.  More than once, I've had to re-tuck in a little wanderer, or realize someone's asleep on the floor outside the bathroom (a near miss sure to wake you up completely) while I've been getting ready, or tried to sneak out as I hear someone waking up.

This morning I narrowly missed tripping over Audrey as I walked out of the bathroom.  She got up but came back to me, so I carried her to the living room while we waited for Mr W to come get comfy in the recliner so I could hand her over.  I'm standing there, in that Mom-pose, holding her as she snuggles against my neck, and rocking back/forth on my feet.  First of all, I love that spot, that spot where you curve from neck to shoulder, the collarbone-y area; the spot I always seek, mmm.  But when I've held the kids, it's the spot they seek, and that's different (of course), and it's a perfect fit.  Newborn, toddler, 11 year old, their little head fits perfectly there.  So I'm in guilty bliss as I stand and rock her, because I don't care if her Daddy needs an extra minute in the bathroom, it's so nice to be there.  I'm contemplative, wondering, does she remember how I smell, will she think when she's older that my scent is the smell of home?

I remember my first real time away from home, I bought Jergen's lotion because of course, you buy the stuff your Mom did before branching out on your own in the drugstore.   When I got back to my place, I was so startled that the smell of the lotion reminded me so much of my Mom that tears sprang to my lonely little eyes.  Coty face powder invokes Nana and her bingo-nights;  Tres Flores hair goo, my Tata; Aramis cologne my ladies-man Tio (no, es verdad, he was terrible); and of course, Love's Baby Soft perfume transports me back to 15 (ack) again.

I remember one time, I loaded the boys into the car, and Ben, who was probably 3 or so, asked "Mommy, are we going to Nana's house?" "No, why, sweetie?" "Because you smell like you're going to work."  Wow, I thought.  I was wearing perfume (Happy) because we were running errands, and some days, you take what you can get as far as feeling like a real girl, lol.  I never would've made that work connection had he not said it.  And I felt a little bad too, that he had a smell that said to him "Mommy's going to work."  (I had just gone to part-time from full-time a bit before.)  I wore it more often then, so he would associate it with other things; but eventually, tapered off.........

Mr W makes it back to us, and I <reluctantly> hand my little princess over.  

She's in good hands, and I'm late, but that's ok.  I know she knows what I smell like, and she'll be able to find me anywhere.

1 comment:

robinngabster said...

Great entry! I do the same thing with smells. I wear Estee Lauders youth dew to remind me of Mom, Lavender = grandma, aqua velva is Dad...my husband hates it but I love that cheap drug store stuff...I keep it in his medicine chest so I can smell it and think of Daddy.  Oh.....Love's baby soft!!!! We must be close to the same age...that was so my scent way back when!!!