The power of a hug

This morning, getting ready for school, Nolan was really slow.  I know why, but there's not much I can do about it.  His teacher is on maternity leave until March and he is not that thrilled with his substitute teacher.  That, combined with the usual angst of an 11 year old, is making him sulky.  Great, that's all I need, another teenager in the house in addition to Audrey, the toddler-teen.

I told him to try and not think about the bad day he was about to have, and concentrate on something, anything positive, and to stay away from one particular kid that teases him.  I said that he had to take some responsibility for his mood, because I can feed him, make sure he gets enough sleep, and love him, but I can't make him happy all the time. 

And I felt some angst of my own as I watched him walk slowly all the way onto campus.  I know he needs to work through this on his own.  Besides, we always tell him that he will encounter many people throughout his life that he may not particularly like, but will have to function alongside them anyway.  Just think about your own job, I'm sure all of us at one time or another has had to deal with the annoying coworker that we are stuck one cubicle away from.  Learning to deal with these situations is a good skill to have, I remind him, and tell him I'm sorry, son, but you'll have to suck this one up.

Afterschool was no better.  Audrey got all wound up to see them all again, and started shrieking and running around chasing Ben and Ryan.  Ben was as loud and talky as he usually is, and it was chaotic.  Nolan starts getting annoyed, and said something like "Would you all just knock it off?  You're getting on my nerves!" with a scowl and a hmmph! to finish it off.  Well, I'm not about to put up with that, and I told him "Look, I realize that you are unhappy with your day at the moment, but that is the fault of no one here and we can't do anything about it.  If you feel that we are getting on your nerves, then you need to go to your room where you can have all the alone quiet time you want.  Yelling at us because you had a bad day is unacceptable, so you knock it off."  He opted to stay with us, quietly, moodily..

A few minutes later, I was in the kitchen, and he came over to get something.  I grabbed him and pulled him close, giving him a hug just like when he was little, putting my hand on top of his head (damn, when did he get this tall?) and resting my cheek on his forehead.  I just held him.  And I said, "Would you like me to just hug you like this, all the time, does it make you feel better?"  I was teasing him, and didn't really expect an answer.

But he said, "Yeah, I do."

Yup, somedays, a hug will work magic, and make all the difference in the world.

I know I could've used one earlier, when Audrey was a little too two in the teacher's workroom (I was doing the volunteer/copying I do for Ben's teacher); the machines didn't want to work right (we both got covered in black ink, she had on a white shirt, of course); and I left in exasperation without finishing it all. 

I guess a hug would've made me feel better, since I don't carry a bottle of hootch around with me.

Hmm, maybe I could use that extra pocket in my purse...for medicinal purposes, of course.

But then where would I put my lippy?