Ryan has some freaky cough thing going on, so he stayed home from school today.
I should've known he was gonna be a handful because he's so used to all the activity of school now that I'm boring. "Mom, I'm bored." Really, it was just a ploy to play his GameCube, and of course I told him no. No games if you're home sick is the rule. Otherwise, they'd all feign illness everytime we got a new game, lol. Oh, the drama, the wiliness of the small fry.
He was entertaining himself and Audrey just fine, so I decided to sweep and mop while they were busy and Mr W slept (can't have him slipping on the wet floor). I also decided to call my friend Janna, as she just went through some nasty infertility treatments and I'd not heard from her.
We're chatting, and of course, two minutes into it, the entertained children started fighting. Loudly. "I swear they were ok before I called," I lamented to her. She understood, and didn't miss a beat as she heard me um, taking care of things. But we couldn't talk much longer than that before another uprising. GRR.
Later on, I was talking to Jane. I was alone in the front room at the beginning of the conversation. Here comes Ben, followed soon after by Ryan and Audrey. They decide to start wrestling and yelling right in front of me. "HEY! All of you! What is this thing attached to my ear?" "The phone." "Get out, all of you! Go back to whatever you were doing before I picked up the phone!" It's not like we were discussing state secrets or anything. I just had to ask her a quick question.
You think I'd know better by now, right? They have some kind of internal radar that compels them to get into trouble or suddenly need Mommy the minute she's otherwise occupied.
And it's not only phone related, either. It's computer related, cooking related, and most annoyingly "Mom and Dad are alone" related. I swear, there's some kind of alarm that goes off, "Hey! Red alert! They are closer than two inches away from each other! Code blue--whose turn is it? Okay, Ryan, jump out of bed! Let's see...yes! 'Go to the bathroom' will work, because last time we used 'get a drink of water'...hurry, go!"
It's a wonder that after Nolan, they were conceived at all.
Good thing they haven't figured out what all those trips to play in the park were really for, or why I let them run around as much as possible afterschool.
Haha, Mom's still got a few secrets and tricks up her sleeve afterall.
And there's always (what was that that Remo once suggested to me?) oh, yeah, duct tape and flexicuffs-- to turn to as a last resort.
I'll save those for special occasions.