Where's my sign?

I'm convinced I'm the target of some kind of karmic retribution. 

I was on my way out late yesterday afternoon.  I put the dogs out, and as the water dish was empty, courtesy of Max, I went to fill it.  Responsible pet owner that I am and all. 

I'm at the water hose, the dish is where it always is.  As I turn the hose on, I notice a huge kink in it, and am bending to get it when at the same time, an incredibly strong blast of water hits me.  In the face.

All I can manage is "oooh" as I blindly reach out to turn the hose off, thinking, wtf?  I know I saw the hose connected...

Once again, I am treated to the sound of my husband's ringing laughter, as he looks out the kitchen window at the whole debacle. 

I get everything turned off, and a closer look at the hose reveals bite marks.  Thanks, Max.  The hose has been converted to a sprinkling chew toy.

I'm totally soaked.  Nothing has been spared.  Once again, my dignity has hit the highway.

I've learned that on my way out the door, I'm not approaching anything that can spew any kind of liquid at me.  At least not on purpose.

Somewhere, sometime, I stepped on the wrong bug.  Somewhere, someplace, this bug must be laughing his ass off.

Or angling to get a better look at my soaked shirt.