Sense of humor, my a**

Mood:  a bit annoyed

"You have nice skin,"  he said. 

Okay, I'm thinking, maybe this won't be so bad.

"It's smooth, we won't have to retouch that alot.  I tell people that if I lost weight, I'd be all wrinkled, because it wouldn't be filled in and pushed out."

Okay, maybe he's an idiot.

I'm sitting in a darkened room, on a comfy couch, surrounded by portraits.  I'm looking at a projection screen, a decent-sized one, at pictures I had just posed for, so I can pick my favorite.

It's kind of hard to feel any of them are a favorite when your face is suddenly 3 feet tall and no touching up has happened yet.  OY, what is that?  Do I really need to see myself from that angle?

I'm as vain as the next person, but...I'm feeling like I am gonna run out of there into the first plastic surgeon's office or Baskin-Robbins I see; whichever I come to first.  You see, this wasn't his first comment...

A few seconds earlier, I'd joked that I usually am not accustomed to being the person in the photo, because I'm always the person taking them.  And does he say "Oh, it's cause you're the Mom?" "Oh, it's cause you are the only one that remembers?" "You must be the only one that can use it?"

Oh, no, he says, "I find the safest place to be is behind it." ?? He ponders, murmurs as he's moving the mouse around (gotta love instant digital gratification, at least) "Yeah, like most of the population, myself included, there's an extra pound or two(as the arrow goes over my neck, jaw), but you look good.  Nice skin, no bags under the eyes, big smile...."   I was taken aback.  

I didn't know whether to thank him or kick him in the nuts. 

Why subject myself to such an experience?

I had some work done on my teeth last year.  For me, it was the equivalent of going from an 'a' to a 'dd', for want of a better analogy.  I love my  new teeth, and they look good.  I've been totally pleased with the result--movie star, baby (they were stained before).   My dentist sent me to this photographer to get a picture done for his book.  I was totally okay with it, because I like my dentist alot, and have been so pleased with the result, I thought "why not?"

I even get to keep a copy, all magically touched up, just for me.  :)  Win-win, right?  Maybe.  Not.

Well, I had no idea, Mr Photographer, that I had an 'extra lb or two'--thanks so much for pointing that out.  <eyeroll>

I was brought up to think that I am so much more than a sum of my parts.  My Mom wasn't one of those horrid put-pressure-on-her types that monitored my appearance (a blessing and a curse, lol).  She always made sure to say "you are smart and you are a pretty girl too."   A little attitude goes a long way, and thanks to her, I can call upon it when I need it. 

UGH.

Where was that attitude today?  It was stuck in the heart of the 13 yr old girl who had her favorite teacher tell her that "you know, you're a pretty girl, but you could be so much prettier if..."  [you get a prize if you fill in the rest of his sentence correctly] "...you lost a little weight."  [Cringe with me--In retrospect, we were standing by the stairs in my jr high, and I should've helped him have an unfortunate accident, but well, seeing as how I'm the bigger person here... ;) I let him live.  I needed my 'A', afterall.] 

It ultimately didn't matter.  I still had enough going on that I attracted the attention of a certain young man, and on occasion, when I take the Cheerios out of my hair, I clean up nicely.

Get over yourself, girl.

That comment is a demon I need to exorcise.  And if I ever run into that teacher again...

He better hope he's not standing by the stairs.