Patience and aging

As I catch my breath and count to ten, I often joke to Mr W that it's a good thing that we're done having kids, because I'm getting too old to maintain the level of patience it takes to be around them.  I like to think I'm a patient girl, and those who've seen me in action can feel free to agree or disagree, but sometimes...sometimes I must throw my hands up in the air in defeat, raise my voice, lose my temper, burst into tears, or just plain go for a walk in order to preserve my sanity.  I love them, I planned for them all (and I hate, hate, hate it when people think otherwise--oh, I can tell when they are giving me the 'doesn't she know about birth control look-- or give me the 'oh you finally had your girl' 'would you have kept going until you had a girl' 'are you gonna have another' 'aw, look, you almost have a basketball team'-- seriously, these people, they think they are being clever, they can just bite me), but its still not the easiest thing I've ever chosen to do. 

After I'm done telling Mr W that, I usually move on to a teary tirade about how I'm shortchanging the younger two, that I'm different with them, that they aren't getting as much attention because the older two sucked it all out of me and now there's just no time at the end of the day to play in the bathtub or linger over anything because it's an assembly line for everything now, and sniff, sniff, bwaaah, there I go.  He pats me on the back, or makes some crack that leaves me in stitches, and I'm ready to jump in the saddle again.  Until the next breakdown.

I'm beating myself up lately because I'm feeling the pressure of potty training.  I have a bright girl, and she'd be trained by now, I'm sure, if her mother were more uber and less lazy.  She's been interested in and trying the potty for some time.  I've been encouraging, but not in a way that has moved things along as quickly as they could be.  And you know what?  She's learning anyway.  I'm getting more on the ball with it, and I think she could possibly be done soon (I can't put a time frame on it, lest I fail).  But, OMG, I've forgotten how hard it can be to deal with this when you are out and about.

Today, we were in Kohls and the bathrooms there areALL the way in the back of the store, past the kid's section ("Look, Mommy!  Dressies!  I want that one!") AND the little overpriced toy section, too. [believe me when I say I can tell you where the bathroom is and the quickest way to get there in any store, go on, quiz me, I dare you]  I needed to look at some shoes, on the other end of the store, and look around the ladies section too (hey, I'm already there, aren't I?).  "Walking" was the order of the day from my little one, ok, she is big enough to walk...and stop every five feet to look at something, to touch something, to make me nervous as she scoots away--to hide in a rack and jump out "Peekaboo!" (it's cute).  I had to go potty, so I figure she's gotta go too (of course I remembered to ask her, I do recall that much from training the boys, lol).  And voila!  she went, no big deal.  Off to Mommy's business.

We are almost to the shoe section, after she's touched all the squishy pillows in the center aisle, and we've looked around the ladies section (felt like forever, took about five minutes) when she stops dead in her tracks, clutches at herself and announces she's gotta go "poop, my 'tomach hurts."  Sigh.  "We were just there...are you sure?"  ***I never would've asked the boys this, I would've whisked them off right away, appropriate treat/praise in hand, and not worried about it***  "Yes, I gotta goooo!"  Sigh, roll my eyes, realize that I'm being unreasonable, lol, and whoosh her up to put her in the stroller "No strollie, I have to go..." "Honey, we ARE going to the bathroom, this is quicker.."  and off we go.  I even feel nervy enough to tell her "You had better really need to use this..." as I carry her into the bathroom, and we go into the stall closest to the door... ***I can't complain, she's not particular and will actually use a public toilet, large seat and all, as long as I hold her up, not all kids will do that :) *** and she of course was right.  So I feel like a big idiot, naturally. 

In light of this, I know I will have to restructure our outings, and think I will be able to do as much anymore...a quick trip is sure to be a not-so-quick one with umpteen trips to the bathroom...and I remember, not so fondly, being in the furthest corner of the store from the bathrooms whenever nature called the boys.  (ALWAYS, it never failed--)  I don't know anyone up to a two hour trip to Target to pick up five items, lol, do you?

Ah, well.   I made it through her decorate-myself-with-food-needing-two-baths-a-day phase, I can get through this one, especially when I consider the end result.

NO MORE DIAPERS!!!!

Just gotta keep my eye on the prize......