Another edition of "Mommy what's ___?"

I had another teaching moment, and I went overboard.  Poor boy.

Nolan and I were watching t.v. alone (he likes to watch "House" with me).  During the show, a commercial came on for the local newscast, with the usual teasers they throw out to get you to watch.  One of them was "if you're thinking about breast implants, you'll want to see what ...has to say about silicone."

He says to me:  "Mom, why would anyone want to think about that?"

At first, I almost dismissed it, but then I decided to run with it.  "Son, when you see images of women on t.v. or in magazines or ads, or even some video games,  what do their breasts look like?"

"I'm not gonna answer that."

"Nolan, come on, humor me, don't be embarrassed.  Big, or small?"

He murmurs, almost whispers, "Big."  Well.  At least we can chalk one up to the big media machine perpetuating the bigger is better image when it comes to boobs, lol. 

"Yup, big.  A lot of men think bigger breasts are sexy, and you'll understand that in a few years.   But they come in a variety of sizes, and some are big, some are small, some sag, some don't.  Now, women that have smaller ones sometimes have a special surgery where they get a balloon-type sack full of saline or silicone put inside their boob to make it look bigger.  You know how you hear me make comments like "fake ones" when I talk to your Dad sometimes?  That's what I'm referring to.  They look um, different.  No sag.  No movement."    I didn't get into the reasons why someone might have this done (self-image wise), b/c I was losing my audience, and I'll get to it some other time.  Of course, I realize all this is not gonna matter to him one whit once the puberty monster rocks his world, but I do what I can to inform and educate.

"Oh."  And that was that.

I'm thinking "oh"?  All he can say is "oh"?  I'm glad that my 11 yr old can tell that there is a preponderance of 'big' ta-tas in all the media he sees.  And I'm glad that he's also seen um, as one of my friends put it, "working" breasts (as in nursing).   At least there's that to balance it out (or scar him for life, whatever the case may be, lol).  But I thought he might have had something else to add besides "oh." 

Got a little ahead of myself, went overboard?  Probably.  But I don't want to not address it either, especially when the opportunity presented itself and he asked a question.  Granted, he probably didn't expect a lecture on the imagery of women in media, but I couldn't stop myself once I got started.  I want to point it out to him, so he knows oh, I don't know, truth in advertising maybe? (I'll tell him about non-surgical ways to fake it someday in Victoria's Secret, or maybe not, some things are better left to find out on your own, lol.)     ;) 

My question is why do these things always come up when his Dad isn't home???   Oh, man, I'm sure he would've loved to hear me give that bit of info, right before he stepped in to take over and save the boy from another of Mom's not-entirely-age-appropriate tirades about the roles of women in society.   Next time, it's definately his turn, even if I have to have him phone it in.

I don't mind discussing issues like sex and puberty with Nolan.  I don't want to be puritanical about it, and I am the science girl, so I can at least give accurate information.   True, I may blush as I do it, but I'll tell him what he needs to know.

However, this time, I have to agree with a comment Remo once made:  "Moms don't give the Talk!  That's icky."

I'll just have to pass that on to Mr W and step aside until the boy comes to me.