Cursing. We all do it. I try to edit my language even though I have an 11 yr old, because I don't want the 2 yr old to sound like a sailor. And she would, if I let loose like I'd occasionally love to. I can't help myself if the Spanish cursing comes out automatically, but I try.
So what's the big deal?
Well, my 11 yr old keeps asking me for permission to curse. You know how it is, all the 'cool' kids do it, and you probably did it at this age, as long as you wouldn't get caught. I don't have the heart to explain to the boy that if you have to ask permission to do it, that in itself is not cool. Sigh. I know that the other more worldly friends in his class make fun of him for it, but...I really don't feel like giving him carte blanche with this is gonna make him the most popular kid in school, even if he does.
Imagine my surprise this morning, as I'm writing a note to his teacher about some homework, when I hear Ben, BEN the 8 yr old, pipe up with an "f-you" to Nolan. ???
"Excuse, me buddy, what was that you just said?" He guiltily looks back at me. "Hey, Nolan says it too." Oh, man. "Dude, that's not something you are allowed to say." Rant, rant, "And neither are you, Nolan. If I hear it come out of your mouth again," "But Mo-om, I didn't say the whole word.." "in ANY form, you will regret it."
I went to see if Mr W was ready to go yet, and he looks up at me quizzically: "What was that all about?" "Oh, an 'f-you' before 8 am out of the mouth of the 8 yr old." ???
I tell him about the whole "Mommy, can I curse?" discussions Nolan and I have been having. "Didn't you, at this age," I tell Mr W, "curse when you were with your friends, and your parents didn't know?" He looks a little sheepish and mischievous at the same time as he says "Of course." "So, what do we tell him? That he can, as long as he's with his friends? And as long as we don't hear him?"
I'm brushing my teeth, as Ben comes into the room and I hear Mr W asking him about what he said. He tells him the same thing, that he's not to be running around spouting off 'f-you' like he knows what he's doing. "Cussing is not gonna make you sound like a stronger person, Ben, it's just gonna get you in trouble." When Ben leaves, I ask Mr W, "So, now what are you planning on telling the big guy?" Again, I'm tucked into the bathroom, doing the girly thing, and I hear him talking to Nolan this time. He repeats the same thing he told Ben. He listens to Nolan express his frustration at not being able to toss back a few um, well-chosen words when the need arises. And then he tells him no. "I'm not ready to say okay to this to you at this point in your life, son. Should you choose to curse, and I'm not there, there's nothing I can do about it. If someone, like for example, a teacher hears you, and you get in trouble for it, your Mom's not gonna bail you out. And you better be prepared that whoever you are talking to might spew something back at you even worse than what you're saying. Got it?"
"Okay, Dad, I got it."
Oh, I knew LOVED him! Got me off the hook, and hopefully, it'll be another couple of days before I hear that request again. Because you know it's gonna come up more and more.
For some reason, I am hearing George Carlin in my head at the moment, what is his bit about 'seven dirty words?'
Ok, so I'll be even more selective in muttering "jackass" at the little old man that cuts me off in traffic, but I'm not making any promises about my cursing in Spanish. Hey, if it gets them interested in speaking it too, lol, then it can't be all bad, can it?