He looks at her sternly, using that Dad face that makes her behave. She's got ants in her pants, and keeps popping up and down, surveying the restaurant as she shares his fries. Up, down, sway back and forth, sit for a second, up, down...
Daddy is losing patience, and gives the look again. She sits. For a second. Then stealthily slides off the chair, and goes around the edge of the table to where he sits. She reaches into his lap, stealing his napkin, just as he's about to scold her. The little face looks up at him, with the 'aren't I cute' grin, and he sees she wants the napkin to wipe her face, because she's got ranch dressing all around her mouth. The storm passes, and I see him melt, gently wiping her mouth and chin. Where's my camera?
And on to the other moment, with another installment of "Mommy, what's _____?"
Today's show brings me to afterschool, when Nolan comes up to me and asks, "I need to ask you something. It's about a word." "Shoot," I say. And he hesitates, "Well, I think it's a bad word." "Dude, spit it out." "Okay, Mommy, what does 'mofo' mean?"
Deep breath. Breathe, breathe, think, think. "Son, I'll tell you, I just need a minute, okay?" "Okay." "Tell me where you heard it." "Some kids at school." Of course. I needed a minute to get Mr W's opinion about how detailed I should get on this one.
Fast forward to aikido. I'm waiting with the big kids for Ryan to finish his class, and Nolan says, "Mom, you forgot to answer my question." "Oh, yeah. I need to ask your Dad something, hang on." I'd forgotten to talk to him b/c he went in to work, so I call him real quick, give him the skinny, and we decide to go for it. "Hey, Nolan, come here." We move out of earshot of our younger viewers. "Okay, here's the deal..." I first told him about the 'fo', about how it refers to sex, and then the 'mo', how it refers to your mother, and then how the two words work together. That it's an insult, and he shouldn't repeat it in either the long or abbreviated version unless he wants to spend the afternoon explaining himself to the principal and then to us. So then I go on, and say, "well do you really know about the sex part, what do you understand about that?" "Not much." "Okay, do you have any questions about that?" "No, not really." "Are you sure?" "Um, yeah, I'll come ask you about it when I think I'm ready to hear it."
YAY me, I can't believe he said that. I'm glad he feels comfortable talking to me, and relieved I don't have to continue this conversation in the 5 minutes I have left before his class starts. Whew.
I really have to smile, sometimes, that my day is so full of diverse experiences. One minute, it's all about Pull-ups and poop; the next, it's sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. It's no wonder why I feel a bit left of center sometimes!
They sure do keep me on my toes. Hopefully all this extra mental work will keep me sharp.
Something has to restore the IQ points I lost to pregnancy, sleep deprivation, and conversing with toddlers for the last 10 years.