Friday, August 31, 2007

Figment

He glances at the van, accessing the condition of the interior.  "Which package would you like?"  he asks.

"I'm not sure.." 

"I bet the kids make a huge mess in there,"  he adds.

"Kids? I don't have any kids."  I laugh throatily as I run my perfectly manicured fingers through my long, freshly blown out blonde hair.  "This is my sister's car, and believe me, the mess in here is nothing compared to the mess in her house.  The dog hair alone...."  I shake my head in dismay.  "I'm getting the car cleaned as a favor to her, while she's having a spa day.  Right now, she is in the capable hands of Eduardo, my favorite masseur.  His hands are magic.  She'll be a new woman."  I exit the van, grabbing my clutch and Blackberry.   "Give it the works,"  I decide.

As I sashay inside to wait, I step gingerly over the puddle in front of the door.  Can't wreck the new Manolos....

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Okay, so what really happened is that the van had gotten to such a state of ewww that I thought I might have a family of rodents living under the seats.  I'd gotten a coupon at the gas station I frequent for a car wash, and partially for me, and mainly for Mr W, who really likes a clean car, I took the van in. 

I cringed a little at the comment about the kids making a mess in there as I knew the truth:  much like some people clean their houses before the maid comes over,  I'd given the van a once-over, tossing the trash and removing extraneous stuff (so it could be properly vacuumed).  He tried to sell me a detailing package, but he lost me when he said they could make the interior look "like new".  Honestly, dude, the only thing that would make my car interior look "like new" would be a new interior.  Puh-leese. 

I blew my mousy brown bangs off my forehead and shook my sad wilted ponytail, straightened my shoulders, and selected "Pacific Breeze" as my interior scent.

But I still sashayed inside to wait.  As 'sashay' as one can get holding the hand of a sick 8 year old (Ryan is a little under the weather).

When I got home, I still wound up wiping a lot of spots they missed, but that's okay.  When you are paying someone ten bucks (I had a coupon, remember) to tend to the Battle Van, clean windows and carpet go a long way in my forgiving them some spots around the base of the seats.

"Pacific Breeze," meet floral Fabuloso.

I may not be blonde, but courtesy of the haircut appointment I kept after the car wash, I have a fantastic straight diva blowout.

It's as "grrrrrrrrr" as I can get in mom-jeans and Vans.

6 comments:

chat2missie said...

My car need a detailed cleaning for sure.  Enjoy your weekend.
Missie

robinngabster said...

I had to double check whose journal I was reading when I saw "blonde hair!"   And the last pic I saw of you your hair was too short for a pony tail...I think I need an updated pic.  Loved the entry...you have a way with words!  LOL

screaminremo303 said...

Don't worry, Robin. The only thing blonde about this one is her attitude.

I can't believe the dude asked you about his package. Must be the hair.

jckfrstross said...

at least its clean for the time being:) my dh loves a clean car so i try to keep it clean but when the kids were little forget it lol enjoy your weekend

Deb

jevanslink said...

They clean the outside AND the inside for ten bucks?  The place I go makes ME do the inside. And they charge a quarter for ten minutes with the vacuum.  I'm lucky to get the outside rinsed off.  

Mrs. L

pixiedustnme said...

I HAVE to tell you I took the van in last summer to have it detailed.  Found a coupon and had it done for 60 bucks.  THE best money I ever spent.  They kept it for 8 hours and cleaned the cloth seats, the cupholder, the glove compartment and EVEN the pockets behind the seats.  I tell ya, as soon as my money comes in from financial aid I'm going to get it done again!