Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Like a train wreck--can't help but look

Last night, I was sharing some quality time with Mr W.

We were watching tv. 

I felt myself involuntarily doing a double take as the 'parents' of the show came in and bent over the couch to kiss their 'children.'  (I think we were watching "Surface" but he changes channels so quickly, who knows what it was...) 

"You know,"  I said, "it used to be when I was little, I didn't always like watching tv because everyone was skinny and blonde, or jiggly and stupid (1970's cheesecake tv at its finest).  Now, I don't always like watching tv because there's always a giant fake rack somewhere on any given show.  It's not enough to have nice regular sized boobs anymore, they gotta be spec-tac-u-lar.  It doesn't matter which show you watch, at least one chick will have a giant fake rack, and it'll be on full display because she will always have to bend over, at some point. 

"And?"  he's amused, but good enough not to state the obvious.

"I'm just saying, the grandma on the show doesn't need to look like a stripper, does she?  And it's not just that, these chicks have had it all.  Overhaulin' shouldn't just be a show on cable, it should be the title of a reality show where we see the actresses before and after."

Maybe I'm missing the point.  (But four kids and smooshy body parts gravitating to places they weren't tend to make me nuts at times.)

He could only shake his head at me.  

"Read your book."  <as he smacks me on the butt>

Which for him translates into "quit bugging me."

He's so understanding.


deniden said...

Ok, not to get all Denielle-psycho babble on ya, but seriously, this is one of the reasons I HAVE A HUGE FAKE RACK. (LOL - for those of you who didn't know.)

Society is huge on "women are more womanly if you have a huge rack", and unfortunately, that's pretty much what society taught me as I was growing up. I felt unproportionate and less feminine cuz I was a B in a land of C's & D's. Not to blame my wanting big boobs on other people, it was a huge decision I made myself because of how I felt about myself and my body, but there is definitely something there or else little girls wouldn't be asking for boob/nose jobs for high school graduation.

I wasn't given it, so I bought it and I love it. ;)


nicurnmama said...

You're too funny!
I don't want/need a fake rack......all those years breastfeeding my babies helped me get over the desire to have big breasts REAL fast. I wouldn't mind a lift back to their perky state. Of course I made the mistake of saying that within my husband's earshot. The next thing you know he is asking a friend who just got a boob job who was her plastic surgeon.
Grandma-hood is just around the corner for me. I hope (if I ever get a lift or whatever they call it) perky isn't bad for a grandmom. I promise not to bend over a lot.

yaya1 said...


everly2 said...

At least he was decent about it.  Didn't sit there a oogle right in front of you.  But I find myself saying something about a woman before my husband notices.  Then it is pointed out and we can move on.  That dirty bird!

tillysweetchops said...

This is sooo true. Us natural girls seem to be at a disadvantage but having conducted a mini poll of my own, a lot of men really prefer soft and natural when it comes down to the nitty-gritty; but that doesn't seem to stop their tongues from lolling when confronted with someone like Pammy Anderson!
Tilly x

screaminremo303 said...

Did you miss something from the "Men are Binary Units" handbook?

Food, shelter, safety? Screw that. Give me a nice comfy chair, the remote, and 30 minutes of rack-age and I'm one happy camper.

I like Den's rack, too.

tdgulledge said...

The fake boobs are bad enough, but what about    how anorixic everyone looks.  I so prefered Hilary Duff (Disney Channel star) when she was a little heavier, now her head looks to big for her stick body....all the stars on television and movies are starting to look alike to me....(a sign I am getting old???) Tammy  

pixiedustnme said...

Men are Binary Units - gads I love Remo - and he's so right!

billandnae said...

Oh I hear ya woman.  If it's not boobs, it's plastic surgery shows where destitute women can afford to get their saggy boobs lifted and their jelly belly's tucked.  They don't work and have a gazillion kids yet can get these surgeries done.  Then I feel like a piece of crap when I look at myself.

I fear for my duighters well-being.  She's never gonna feel good enough about herself thanks to our wonderful society.

I also think that like pedophiles being outted, celebrities plastic surgeries should be made public..bet that would cut down on all the cleavage being shoved in our faces!

suzypwr said...

Overhaulin'? Never heard of it, but it should be about redoing an engine on an old car. Fake racks feel fake. I think most men prefer the touch of the real thing, but like to look at any of it :)