Tuesday, December 20, 2005

One step forward, one step back

I'm not joking when I say that the season has snuck up on me. 

The other night,  I decided that maybe, oh, I don't know, a Christmas tree might be nice.   Last Friday night.  The 16th. 

Better late than never.

I called Jane, because I needed her assistance, mainly her vehicle, as her seats fold down.  My van seats need to be removed to make more space, and that back bench seat is a heavy mofo, I'm telling ya.

Why didn't I ask my husband, or that other strapping old man I call over when I need help?

They were working.  Besides, I was going with tradition here, that of surprising my husband with the tree.  Sure, it's a tradition that hasn't been exercised since Nolan was born, but I thought I'd trot it out for old times' sake.

Back when I was in college, a looong time ago, Mr W used to work for UPS.  Which basically meant I'd not see much of him from November 1st until New Year's.  As a result, I would take my last final, then I'd hit up the Christmas shopping, and sneak in getting a little tree for our apartment.  I never told him when I was gonna get it, I'd just grab some help and go.

I fondly remember, two weeks before Nolan was born, in a hormonal surge of strength (irritation), using a steak knife to saw off a stray limb and force the tree into the %$#@ stand.  Good times....

Anyway.  Back to Friday night.

Jane was game, bless her, and off we went.  It didn't take long, and I picked a winner while she kept Audrey from freezing to death ("I wear dressie.")

She even carried it inside for me, and patiently held it upright while I crawled underneath, battling the %$#@ stand.  It looked great.  Jane rocks! :D

After she left, I decided to turn it a bit, and the tree developed a marked list to the right.  Noooo!  Curses!!!  I called upon my assistants:  Nolan held the tree, Ben held the flashlight (broken lamp, long story, damn dogs), Ryan commented on the tree's position, and I didn't curse while I got back under there and made it work.

It still lists to the right, but it's the thought that counts.

Now, I guess I need to get the things that go underneath it.

Because I'm a little behind in that endeavor too.  I have good reasons, though.

Nolan was out of school two days last week (strep).

Ryan's had a persistent cough (since last Weds) that made it's way to Nolan, and by Sunday night, Ben too.  We made a trip to the doc today.  They all have bronchitis.  Fabulous. 

They are being really good about it, poor kids, but it means I am tethered home for the most part. 

Earlier today, feeling a little frustrated,  I sent a message to Mr W's pager, and this is what it said:

"At this rate, I will be Christmas shopping at WalMart with the zombies in the middle of the night.  I hear Slim Jim makes a nice gift."

I imagine Slim Jim may require a side of Pepcid, but it's the thought that counts.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Back when I was in college, a looong time ago, Mr W used to work for UPS.  Which basically meant I'd not see much of him from November 1st until New Year's."

Yep I live this nightmare!!!! Only 4 more days and then we get DH and daddy back home. As of right now he is getting home at 10 everynight and leaves here at 7:30 in the morning dropping off the older son at middle school. that would be the only kid that sees much of dad this time of year.

I curse the online shoppers...oh wait I think I hear the big brown truck stopping at my door :OX Hey DH is never home so I HAVE to online Christmas shop hehehehe

Anonymous said...

I will be one of the zombies at the Walmart too. I thought I had most of my shopping finished up. That is until I thought I would take an inventory of the gifts already bought. Seems as if I have done way too much shopping for one of the boys and not enough of shopping for the other two. If they knew this, they would swear that I was playing favorites. I don't know exactly how it happened that way, I guess it is because I didn't shop with a list and check things off as I bought them. :o)

So back to the store for me!!

Merry Christmas Anna!

***Monica

Anonymous said...

Tell Remo that if he wants tamales, he needs to do you a little favor and run a few errands for you.

xoxo

Anonymous said...

oh no..not with the zombies in the middle of the night! lol! I think it is a very nice tradition to surprise hubby with the tree..even if you did take out a lamp..lol!

Robyn :)

Anonymous said...

When I was in college my hubby used to work for UPS too!  I had blocked that from my memory until I read your entry.  It was so sad being a UPS widow...lol.:)
Gillie

Anonymous said...

Again... hidden camera.  I put up our damn tree and when we let go to see if it listed... it listed right over on top of the cat.  It's now leaning against the wall so it won't fall over.  At least it's upright and fairly straight.
Merry Christmas!
Tracy~

Anonymous said...

Poor kids.  Hope their bronchitis is better!  Trust me, I can relate.  I seem to get chronic bronchitis this time every year.  Luckily, having just moved back East, my lungs seem to be a little healthier.  I think it was all those damn fir trees in Washington.  =)

XO,
bridgett