Decemblues

December is a weird month. 

I always get this expectant feeling, like something's about to happen, like I forgot some important detail, about now.

It's Nolan's fault.

He is my December baby, and I can't help but feel on the cusp of something big when this time of year rolls around...restlessness, coupled with the holidays; I'm a wreck. 

What did I forget?  Will I be able to pull it off, yet again? What do you mean, you need another gift??  Holy cow, do I smell burned cookies??!!

Big brown eyes follow my every move, and light up as he sidles up next to me, arms out for a hug.  Wait a minute.  Wasn't it just last week that these very arms were barely wrapping around my knees?  And now I have to make sure not to knock my teeth out on his forehead as he embraces me?  

I used to think it would suck to have a December birthday, because you know that once you are of a certain age, you are getting the Christmas/birthday gift combo.  A birthday hard to remember amongst the hustle and bustle.

Yet now I have a different take on it.  Each Christmas is special, as I take in the wonder of my growing eldest son.

Barney has given way to the Cartoon Network, and Oshkosh is b'gosh not in his closet.

No baby powder-talcum-freshness, not with Axe around.

Batman is now a boxer brief.

The baby is now the babysitter.

While he might change, I like to think I remain the same.  Constant and present.

Like Christmas.