I'm not joking when I say that the season has snuck up on me.
The other night, I decided that maybe, oh, I don't know, a Christmas tree might be nice. Last Friday night. The 16th.
Better late than never.
I called Jane, because I needed her assistance, mainly her vehicle, as her seats fold down. My van seats need to be removed to make more space, and that back bench seat is a heavy mofo, I'm telling ya.
Why didn't I ask my husband, or that other strapping old man I call over when I need help?
They were working. Besides, I was going with tradition here, that of surprising my husband with the tree. Sure, it's a tradition that hasn't been exercised since Nolan was born, but I thought I'd trot it out for old times' sake.
Back when I was in college, a looong time ago, Mr W used to work for UPS. Which basically meant I'd not see much of him from November 1st until New Year's. As a result, I would take my last final, then I'd hit up the Christmas shopping, and sneak in getting a little tree for our apartment. I never told him when I was gonna get it, I'd just grab some help and go.
I fondly remember, two weeks before Nolan was born, in a hormonal surge of strength (irritation), using a steak knife to saw off a stray limb and force the tree into the %$#@ stand. Good times....
Anyway. Back to Friday night.
Jane was game, bless her, and off we went. It didn't take long, and I picked a winner while she kept Audrey from freezing to death ("I wear dressie.")
She even carried it inside for me, and patiently held it upright while I crawled underneath, battling the %$#@ stand. It looked great. Jane rocks! :D
After she left, I decided to turn it a bit, and the tree developed a marked list to the right. Noooo! Curses!!! I called upon my assistants: Nolan held the tree, Ben held the flashlight (broken lamp, long story, damn dogs), Ryan commented on the tree's position, and I didn't curse while I got back under there and made it work.
It still lists to the right, but it's the thought that counts.
Now, I guess I need to get the things that go underneath it.
Because I'm a little behind in that endeavor too. I have good reasons, though.
Nolan was out of school two days last week (strep).
Ryan's had a persistent cough (since last Weds) that made it's way to Nolan, and by Sunday night, Ben too. We made a trip to the doc today. They all have bronchitis. Fabulous.
They are being really good about it, poor kids, but it means I am tethered home for the most part.
Earlier today, feeling a little frustrated, I sent a message to Mr W's pager, and this is what it said:
"At this rate, I will be Christmas shopping at WalMart with the zombies in the middle of the night. I hear Slim Jim makes a nice gift."
I imagine Slim Jim may require a side of Pepcid, but it's the thought that counts.