Friday, October 7, 2005

Kid logic

I think that between Mr W and I, in the "your child did ____" sweepstakes, I win.

Exhibit A:  Yesterday, I went to answer the door.  Jane was here, to take me back to pick up the van.  As she comes into the house, I feel/see a blur of kid going by.  It's Ryan.  Running down the hallway.  With scissors in his hand, business end pointed out.  I let out a horrified gasp, and resist the urge to yell at him (I might scare him and make him fall) but start laughing instead (because seriously, folks, this is something that only happens in print, or on tv, not in your own house).  "What are you doing?"  I ask him, while making my way towards him so I can take them away.  "I have popcorn stuck in my tooth," he says, opening his mouth.  "And you were gonna get it out with the scissors?"  springs from my lips before I realize he wanted to cut the floss.  He brings me the floss, and it is wound in such a way that I can see why he thinks he needs to cut it.  Kid logic.  It never ceases to amaze me. 

I did manage to get the offending piece out.  And I almost put the scissors in my purse before I left.  Just in case.

Exhibit B:  Audrey decides to help herself this morning.  To a can of Coke, no less.  Which she drops onto the floor from the dining table.  I spot her, and tell her 1) "No, absolutely not"; and 2) "put that in the fridge."

What do I hear next?  tch-ch <can opening> then splutter, hiss, foam, you name it.  I jump up and run to her, grab the can and open it the rest of the way, expecting the worst but it's a better option than the fizzz-zzzz that's going everywhere.

I don't even bother to ask her what she's doing, I just send her to her room so I can clean up the mess before she tries to do it and winds up painting the floor.  And I put the soda in the fridge.  (It's too bad it was opened, I mean, Mr W's lunch could've had an element of excitement added to it.)

I try to limit myself to one 'emergency' a day.

Which means right about now, I am considering it a blessing that the other two kids are still asleep.


djzgirl71 said...

LOL kids are great ehh???  Little one sounds like our Brody.  Always helping himself to a soda at 7 in the morning!  He spends a lot of time in his room early in the morning! LOL


shelt28 said...

Congrats on being an Editor's Pick. Nice Journal. Funny!


tillysweetchops said...


This is a snapshot moment in my house!! Things like this happen all the time, which is why I can so identify with you. The art is keeping the sense of humor!!

I noticed you resisted the temptation of adding the scissors to the rest of the "might-come-in useful" paraphernalia in your bag come suitcase - very wise as soon enough you'll be needing the expensive services of Otto the local chiropractor to staighten out your Hunch!

And BTW you never did tell me how to "entertain" a small child with a bandaid - I thought there was nothing left for this mum of 6 to learn!
Tilly xx

mom2kk11 said...

Hey hey! I can comment today. (Freaking AOL).

My first thought was that he was gonna pick at his teeth with the scissors too, so it's not just you.


suzypwr said...

I suggest teaching your children to take things to the scissors rather than the scissors to things that need to be cut. I know, I know, too logical.

Today I took an old container of grapefruit juice out of the fridge. Well, I took it out last night, but didn't do anything with it because of all the mess with Molly. What I did today was open it. Carefully. With the container upside down to avoid the splatter, because I could see it was puffed up and likely to explode.

You know, I really can't reach that window over the sink to wash it without standing on the sink and hunching over. Just climbing up on that section of the counter is difficult. Sigh. Who needs kids for things like this? It was in my hair, on the cupboards, on the ceiling probably, all over that window....yikes!


tdain2003 said...

I thought carpets and floors were supposed to be decorated with coke stains... I thought they came blank and clean so kids could make them their own.... hahahahaha... can you tell the tylenol with codeine has kicked in?