A closed door is not a sign of doom

Hubby was late coming home from work last night, so I had my room aallll to myself.

Until Nolan came and flopped himself over the foot of the bed.

He knows he's blocking my view.  I figure he wants to say something to me, so I don't chastise him for it.

"It's hard being a teenager these days."

He's still got a month and a half or so, but I give it to him anyway.   I can feel him thinking about what to say next.

"We've got school, homework, I have other activities...." he's kinda ticking it off on his fingers as he goes "...family, and divorce."

"Divorce?  Why are you thinking of divorce?"

I immediately start thinking of mine and Mr W's behavior as of late.  No arguments, real or fake; nothing comes to mind that might have Nolan heading down this path.

With the subtle 'friend-of-a-friend' approach, he continues.
"I know these two boys, and their parents go into their room and shut the door.  They're probably arguing and throwing things at each other and talking about divorce.  They close the door for privacy."   He looks at me pointedly, and I'm not stupid. 

Oh.  I know what he's getting at.  And I'm fighting a giggle, a smile that would incriminate me.

"Just because someone has a closed door doesn't meant they are talking about divorce."

Far from it.

"Yeah, but...."

"Nolan, we're not getting divorced."

It's on the tip of his tongue to ask, he wants to ask, but I'm not giving him an opening.  He has, and Ben has, asked before, "Mom, was your door closed last night?"  This annoys me.  It's the middle of the night, why are they policing my door??

"But still..."

I'm still fighting the giggles, and I know I can't ever, ever say this out loud, but my mind is going anyway.

We're not getting divorced, we're just having sex.  Hot, hot, nasty sex.

The door is closed because you are much to old to believe that Mommy 'fell asleep' with her head in Daddy's lap.

That was not a smack...

He's not really  yelling  my name.

Something came loose on the bed, and we closed the door because we had to fix it.

Nope, I don't think any of those things were necessarily something he should hear.

Finally, I lost my battle with the giggles and started smiling.

Nolan sighed.

"I know you're laughing because you're still watching tv."

"Yeah, honey, that's it."

At some point, I will tell him the truth, or he will discern it on his own.   Initially,  I really thought that he was going to say, "I know you guys close the door because you are having sex."  and I was horrified and preparing myself for a response.

To hear his version was amusing, and I'll talk to his Dad about maybe being a little more demonstrative in regards to me.  Nothing inappropriate, but maybe a little hug and kiss they could see would be enough to make them feel better.

Of course, that could lead to something else. 

A little grope in the hallway, a pinch on the ass on the pantry...

And we're behind a closed door again.

Maybe we'll have to stick to "Hi, honey, how was your day?"