Wednesday, October 25, 2006

A closed door is not a sign of doom

Hubby was late coming home from work last night, so I had my room aallll to myself.

Until Nolan came and flopped himself over the foot of the bed.

He knows he's blocking my view.  I figure he wants to say something to me, so I don't chastise him for it.

"It's hard being a teenager these days."

He's still got a month and a half or so, but I give it to him anyway.   I can feel him thinking about what to say next.

"We've got school, homework, I have other activities...." he's kinda ticking it off on his fingers as he goes ", and divorce."

"Divorce?  Why are you thinking of divorce?"

I immediately start thinking of mine and Mr W's behavior as of late.  No arguments, real or fake; nothing comes to mind that might have Nolan heading down this path.

With the subtle 'friend-of-a-friend' approach, he continues.
"I know these two boys, and their parents go into their room and shut the door.  They're probably arguing and throwing things at each other and talking about divorce.  They close the door for privacy."   He looks at me pointedly, and I'm not stupid. 

Oh.  I know what he's getting at.  And I'm fighting a giggle, a smile that would incriminate me.

"Just because someone has a closed door doesn't meant they are talking about divorce."

Far from it.

"Yeah, but...."

"Nolan, we're not getting divorced."

It's on the tip of his tongue to ask, he wants to ask, but I'm not giving him an opening.  He has, and Ben has, asked before, "Mom, was your door closed last night?"  This annoys me.  It's the middle of the night, why are they policing my door??

"But still..."

I'm still fighting the giggles, and I know I can't ever, ever say this out loud, but my mind is going anyway.

We're not getting divorced, we're just having sex.  Hot, hot, nasty sex.

The door is closed because you are much to old to believe that Mommy 'fell asleep' with her head in Daddy's lap.

That was not a smack...

He's not really  yelling  my name.

Something came loose on the bed, and we closed the door because we had to fix it.

Nope, I don't think any of those things were necessarily something he should hear.

Finally, I lost my battle with the giggles and started smiling.

Nolan sighed.

"I know you're laughing because you're still watching tv."

"Yeah, honey, that's it."

At some point, I will tell him the truth, or he will discern it on his own.   Initially,  I really thought that he was going to say, "I know you guys close the door because you are having sex."  and I was horrified and preparing myself for a response.

To hear his version was amusing, and I'll talk to his Dad about maybe being a little more demonstrative in regards to me.  Nothing inappropriate, but maybe a little hug and kiss they could see would be enough to make them feel better.

Of course, that could lead to something else. 

A little grope in the hallway, a pinch on the ass on the pantry...

And we're behind a closed door again.

Maybe we'll have to stick to "Hi, honey, how was your day?"


deniden said...

That is TOO funny!!!

We send Anthony to bed, and he'll hear us rustling around and he'll yell "It's time for bed!" Thank god he has no idea why the door is shut yet. He just knows the tv is still on, he doesn't know what exactly it's masking haha.


screaminremo303 said...

Try finding a way to take care of business AFTER they know what's going on. There's no subtle way to explain why the door is closed when it is never closed any other time.

Then again, I think he knows and is just too damn embarassed to bring it up. I say this because last night he was giggling about watching Channel 69.

jckfrstross said...

lol how cute wait till he figures it out haha then watch his face have a good week


mandijo1822 said...

LMAO.  That is so cute that he is worried about you two.  Too funny.  My daughter just turned 5 and gets irate if 'Her Daddy' kisses me when he gets home from work.  I'm not looking forward to the days they know what really goes on behind closed doors.  And that it wasn't the 'doctor' that put the baby in my belly.  >Gosh, that would be another story.  (For Jerry Springer) LOL  Your journal is great.  I put you in my alerts!

lanurseprn said...

This is such a funny entry.  Can't wait for your entry on when he figures it all out.

jevanslink said...

Now I know why my marriage didn't work out.  Thank you for this public service.  Mrs. L

katie39041 said...

Poor Nolan wait and see the red face when the truth comes out about the secret of the closed door,lol. I bet he comes out with nah my parents dont do that, there too old,lol and there will be a yuk or 2 thrown in for good measure. May i say your writing is brilliant and if you ever write a book put me down for a copy.
love and hugs

ekgillen said...

He'll figure it out one day and it will mold how he is with his spouse.  Great job! :)