Thursday, February 22, 2007

Call of the wild

(yawn)

There is nothing worse than getting up before the alarm clock.

Unless you are getting up before the alarm clock because your geriatric cat has decided It Is Time.

Ten beautiful minutes of boy-is-he-yummy dreaming interrupted by "Me--OWWWW"  "MEEEEEEOOOOOWWWWW"  "MEEEOWWW

Not since James Brown has there been a more effective use of the sound "owwww".

Surely there are air sirens more pleasant to listen to than my motherf**king cat.

(He channels James Brown, I channel Samuel Jackson.  Too early to drop the f-bomb?  I think not.)

"Kill it,"  I hear Mr W mutter, muffled under his pillow.

"You're the one with the weapons,"  I remind him as I go to see what the cat needs.

Pillow?  Blanket?  Blow up kittykat doll?

Stick of dynamite?

I'd do it, but I don't want to have to clean it up.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tell Mr W to take a tip from the DeSpain Book on aging animals, AKA taking it on "The Long Walk." Or you could just use a two-foot length of cord, like other people I know.

Anonymous said...

When Wiz did that, it was because she had a hyperactive thyroid. Once she was treated, the screaming died way down. Wiz used to scream all night long, every five minutes. Who needs an alarm clock?

xoxo

Anonymous said...

Lol poor kitty. Can you get blow up kitty cat dolls in the States lol lol.
Love and hugs
katie

Anonymous said...

Damn Cats...

Mine always seems to do the same thing!

Anonymous said...

lol we have a cat that when the food dish is emty look out! and if the older one he is 16 gets hungry the whole world knows about it lol
a blow up kitty lol


Deb

Anonymous said...

Please don't take any cat advice from Remo.
Kathy