As the egg cracks

I decided room temperature eggs would probably be easier to handle.  I took out two in the late morning and let them hang out all day.

Once Ben and Ryan were home from school (and thus could distract their sister) I started.

I used a straight pin to make the holes, and just widened them accordingly. 

I got a little too zealous with the first egg, the hole cracked a little big so I wasn't sure if he could use it.  I went on ahead anyway, gently blowing into the end as I leaned over a bowl with it. 

And nothing happened.

I tried again, and voila! Momma's got skills.  I thought, this isn't so hard afterall, I'll take care of the other one and be done with this in no time.

Once again, I overdid it.  This time, the hole was giant, so I tossed it.

The third egg was cold.  I was irritated that I had wrecked the second one, and went for it.

It was a little more difficult--cold whites and yolk didn't want to go anywhere.  So I was patient, and finally, I could feel the egg emptying out, but it still felt like there was a lot of yolk left in it.  Gently, slowly, gently, I reminded myself, as I wondered if somewhere inside me vessels were bursting ("Mom bursts aneurism over Home Ec assignment--live at 5, the hidden dangers of helping your kids with their homework!") 

I was almost there when inadvertently, my hand holding the egg turned out to be holding it a little tooo tight.  Inside pressure + outside pressure = Eggsplosion.  All down the front of my shirt.

Um.  Yeah.  I let loose a string of expletives so forcefully that Ben came running into the room to see what was wrong. 

(I had a dirty thought at that moment, too, it was unavoidable, as light-headed as I was at that point.  Go ahead, pervies.  I'm sure you can come up with one too.  At least it made me laugh as I cleaned up the mess.)

I took out 3 more eggs.  I left them sitting on the counter for a while, and as I was making dinner, I tried again.

This time, I succeeded.  On the first try.

As Nolan was coloring his shell, I read the assignment page.  Something he hadn't provided me with earlier in the day.

"Do NOT try to blow contents of egg out more than once."

Great--mmmm, salmonella kiss, anyone?  Yummy!

Guess what I had for breakfast today?

Toast.