Of course I wasn't holding the remote

I was putting groceries away, and the kids were watching tv.  They like the George Lopez show, and I usually don't mind it too much, even if the kids are a kinda mouthy, the Nana is the anti-Nana, and it there is the occasional lean towards sexy.

I quite familiar with sexy Mexicans on tv (telenovelas are just visual bodice-rippers), so I'm usually only cringing a little bit when things go that way...but I still cringe. 

I had my head in the freezer tonight when George was talking to his mother, who he'd taken to the gynie for her first visit in 37 years.  The long story short is that his mom was dating a much younger man, went to the gynie for the usual tuneup and found out she had something else.

"What happened?"  I asked from the kitchen when I heard the audience noises.

"She said she has the clap,"   Nolan said.

*gasp*

"Oh my god,"  I said, shaking my head, formulating the rest of my response as I moved around the chicken breasts.   Small freezers suck.

"What's the clap?"  Ryan asked.

*silent scream, hand slapping forehead*

"OH MY GOD!"  I groaned, nearly smacking my head on the door as I whipped my head around.

"Um, I'll talk to you about that later,"  I said, "When I have more time to explain it to you." 

"Oh, I know,"  Ryan postulated, "She must be pregnant."

"Who has the remote?"  "Aww, Mom," Ben complained, as I said, "Look, I don't have time to explain all this to Ryan right now.  This is inappropriate for him to watch, so change it." 

"....but I've already seen this episode..."

Hole-leeeee cow.  Not exactly what I expected to be thinking about when I was head first in the freezer.   I thought about just staying in there, looking for my imaginary bottle of vodka...but I came out and made dinner instead.

Penicillin, anyone??