Thursday, February 23, 2006

Mid-night fighting words

My kids have been sick, on and off, for about a month. 

I have to say, it's easier when they all get sick at once, then for one to get it, and rotate it through the others.   Better to suffer a few days of torment,  then have weeks of the vicious circle that is one well, one sick, oops, back to kid #1, now it's kid #3.....

And it's worse when my number finally comes up.

Ben was on steroids for five days, which was just enough to help him over the coughing hump, but also just enough to suppress him and he caught a cold...which he passed on to me. 

I was sick all last weekend.   It was pretty mild, and I still went to work.  Every third coworker was sniffling, so I wasn't exactly introducing everyone to something new.  

I found a new appreciation for the Quils.  Quil of the Day, and Quil of the Night.

I also found that I am capable of homicidal anger, even in my sleep.

I can count on the fingers of one hand, the times I've been so mad that I wanted to seriously hurt my husband.  A couple might not count, as they were due to childbirth, which technically, is half my fault.

We generally get along well.  Give, take, whatever makes the machine run smoothly.

The other night, however...

I feel someone pushing my shoulder back and forth.  Back and forth.  Hard.  WTH?  I wake up, startled..."what?"  "You're snoring up a storm, hon."  "Sorry."  I am about to drift off again, but not before I realize I have to use the bathroom.  And get a drink of water.  And blow my nose. 

I settle in again.  I'm just falling back asleep, drifting, drifting....when my hand is suddenly bouncing off the mattress.  Twice.

"WHAT??"  I hiss through clenched teeth.  I know what's next. 

"You're really going at it again."

DAMMIT.  No, no, no.  I'm tired.  I'm sick.  I'm not dealing with this all night.

I jump out of bed, grabbing my fuzzy socks up off the floor, snatching a pillow, and feeling my blood start to boil as I stammer out:  "I'm sick.  I can't help it.  STOP WAKING ME UP."

I stagger down the hall, stopping only to put on my socks.  I head for the magic chair, pull the blanket over me, and am just mad, mad, mad.  I listen to see if he followed me.  I'm half hoping he did, but not disappointed that he didn't.  

I'm reclined, and I am awake.  The dogs start shifting around in their crates, because they hear me and now they need to get comfortable again.  It's a while before I fall asleep, so there is plenty of time to contemplate, stew, plan Spy vs. Spy forms of retaliation. 

If you're gonna be waking me up in the middle of the night with that much persistence, it better be for something involving nudity.  Not for snoring.

Especially since my snoring is nothing really new.  It just varies by degree.   You'd think I'd be able to catch some "oh, she's sick" slack. 

I know he meant no harm.  But what was he thinking, that I have some magic 'stop-snoring' switch, like a reset or something?  I was already on my side, so I don't think shifting positions would've helped.  Usually, he is the one who leaves the room, I just beat him to it this time.

I woke up to the sound of the alarm.   I thought I'd turned that off on my way out of the room last night.  Hmmph. Serves him right, I'm thinking, to have to jump over my side to turn that puppy off. 

Beep, beep, beep--why is it still going??

Because it is sitting next to me in the living room.  He moved his little clock by me.  I can't even see to turn it off, I'm just pushing buttons blindly until it stops. 

He called later as I was making breakfast, to make sure I was up, the kids were all up...and for a brief, childish second, I considered not answering the phone. 

It's taking a while longer than I thought, but I'm getting over it.

My cold, I mean.  

12 comments:

deniden said...

Sorry but I do the same thing to Christian when he's snoring. He falls asleep before me alot, so it makes things even worse!


Denielle

suzypwr said...

OK, so I am weird, but I like listening to snoring, as long as it doesn't shake the paint off the walls. I find it comforting.

xoxo

faemist said...

Even though I beat my husband up for snoring (exageration about the beating part) I feel for you. After all "YOU ARE SICK!" I think he should have taken the chair instead. Poor girl, feel better soon. Even Wonder Woman needs her down time and rest.

ekgillen said...

I beat on hubby when he is snoring but if he ever did the same thing back....oh no!!
I hope you feel better soon.  I hate being sick!!
Gillie

mom2kk11 said...

Okay, okay, I'll try to see the snoring from HIS point of view for a bit. :)

Even though I've done what he did, I stay on my chick induced high horse and give you a big "Oh no he di-in't!".

Chantal
www.breadcrumbsinthebutter.typepad.com

katie39041 said...

LOL i snore as well and had the same treatment as your self, so not fair. do we do the same to them nooooooooooo, well maybe lol. Get well soon.
love and hugs

screaminremo303 said...

I, too, suffer the Sleep of the Chainsaw. Thanks to two broken noses and a double-dose of childbirth, Ms. Lovely has the ability to yank my spinal cord through my ear on a nightly basis. The irony? She only starts snoring after 2am.

No wonder Dr. Gilmartin calls it a magic chair. It's managed to keep her alive for 16+ years.

misscarberry said...

I know what you mean, B was briefly a bit stuffed up on Tues and Weds and cuddling up to the snoring lil darlinwasn't exactly a day at DisneyLand. But I forgive and forget, well snigger and mock mostly but I didn't wake him!
Love Sam xXx

nerves05 said...

YOU ARE JUST TO FUNNY. I HAVE LAUGHED MY HEAD OFF MAINLY BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THROUGH THE SAME THING BEFORE AND GOT UP FUMING AT HUBBY, SNATCHING PILLOWS AND COVERS OFF THE BED READY TO KILL IF ANYTHING ELSE IS SAID.. JUST TO GO IN THE LIVING ROOM AND BE MISERIABLE AND AWAKE..
I REALLY ENJOY READING YOUR JOURNAL..
TAKE CARE  ;-)

tdain2003 said...

The next time he's sick and snoring.... he better beware, huh?  
Trace :)

onemoretina said...

Sometimes I just can't figure husbands out.  I mean, when you think they might be less than understanding, they are all hugs and cuddles.  When you NEED them to be understanding ... they don't get it.  And the worst part?  You explain, and they still don't get it. Go figure. ( Hope you get a better nights sleep tonight ) Tina

jevanslink said...

It's the little things that make marriage work:  Deciding not to kill your husband helps ever so much.  Mrs. L