When I was younger, I always measured what was going on in my life by what was going on in school. Since I like school, and felt like a professional student in college, it was easy to remember things for me by connecting events in my mind with what I was taking at the time, or gonna take in the future.
And then I had kids, and I had an entirely new way to remember when things happened, a new yardstick to mark my moments by. Nolan's three months old? I got my first real job. Nolan's almost 1? My brother got married. Ben's birthday reminds me of my nephew's age, and my nephew's birthday reminds me that Ben's is exactly a month away. Ryan's birthday reminds me that my Mom's is around the corner (in 4 days). Mr W started the academy when Nolan was 7 months old, so when people ask me "How long has your husband been a cop?" I can pipe that one out with ease, because it's as long as Nolan is old. And so on, and so on....
Yet, I could never remember how long we've been married. I seriously would have to pause, when asked, and do the math, hoping the year I'd chosen to calculate from was accurate. We've just been together so long, that the actual wedding thing, well, I never forget the event, just the year it happened. Mr W is alternately amused and horrified by this.
One day, however, I figured out a way to remember. My nephew, Matt, was born the year we were married. I just have to remember how old he is, and I'm set.
Matt is fourteen this year.
That means that today it's our fourteenth anniversary.
We went from no kids, 2 cats; to 4 kids, 2 dogs, and the same 2 cats in this time, with all kinds of variations in between. In all our time together, I've watched him go from gangly teenage boy to full-grown wonderful man. He's seen my good, my bad, and my ugly; while I can't say he loves them all, he does love me, which is what counts. Hey, it goes a long way when my head is spinning around and I'm spewing out venom to realize that he's probably going to make me laugh in two seconds and I will forget what was making me nuts in the first place.
We won't mark the occasion with anything special. Maybe I'll make a cake, or something for today, like a birthday. We may go out to dinner this weekend. But it'll probably be just like any other day, as it should be, I think. I think that if you can make through each day together, happy, everyday, then that's more than half the battle.
The yardstick of our relationship isn't something I hold up against a pile of presents or anything like that. It's worth more to me that our days together are good everyday, or as good as they can be, than crazy doings that people expect.
Because I love him, everyday, not just on our anniversary.
(But so help me God, if he leaves me a pile of unfolded clean clothes again...I may not love him that day; I may just smack him upside the head and hand him the iron. I haven't earned the nickname 'ball and chain' for nothing.) ;p