You know that scene from 'Jaws' where Sheriff Brody is sitting at the dinner table, and rubbing his temples; while his little boy copies him?
I love that scene. Loved it when I saw the movie, got the tug in my heart that was "aww" and "someday" and warm.
I am living that scene right now, everyday, all day. The girl, she is relentless. It is not a warm feeling that engulfs me as I sigh and grit my teeth as she watches me get ready for the day. I put on lippy. She puts on lippy. "What's that for?" as she picks up something from the makeup bag. "OOoooh, pretty," she says, as she takes it all in.
I guess you can tell--the stalking continues.
I am still trying to get her past the nighttime issues. I am a busy girl, and sleep deprived on my own due to my late-night surfing/reading/watching cable smut...so I have been caving and sleeping with her. I'd put her in bed with us, but she kicks. And it's not nice when she kicks. The last time she kicked, her father was nearly a soprano.
Last night, I put her in her bed, and went around closing up shop. Turning things off, smoothing hair off foreheads, covering escaped limbs...and she stayed down.
I eyed my bed in the dark, thinking about how much I miss it. I even contemplate "accidentally" waking up my husband, but the ensuant snore made me reconsider. I crawl in, get cozy, and am just dropping off when I feel a little hand on my calf. Sigh. I scoot so she'll be closer to me, and hope my husband doesn't wake up shaped like a horseshoe.
I had a somewhat restful night, but the howling cat from hell woke me before the alarm. I got up, went to let the dogs out, and was heading back down the hall to brush my teeth when there stands a bedheaded little girl, already walking down the hallway looking for me.
She's been Velcro-ed to me all morning. I've answered four thousand questions ("What time is it?" is the current favorite); been subjected to songs about all topics (she's singing her numbers right now); and have contemplated shutting myself in the bathroom for half an hour at least twice.
She's going to preschool in an hour or so.
I'm thinking about taking a nap in the library. Just like in college, except I will wake up in time for my next class.
I emailed my husband:
"Am about to jump. Remind me of this on the first day of school, when I am weeping about how much I am going to miss her."
All of you, at that time, feel free to join in.