It's back-to-school time for us. We started school yesterday.
Even though it's so hot that I'm sure there will be nothing but melted children returning to me at the end of the day. Even though it feels like we just got out for the summer.
And you know what else comes with back-to-school...
No, not oodles of free time with which to ignore laund--I mean, teach Audrey how to write her name...
Nope. It's the back-to-school supply lists.
Ordinarily, if I have an excuse to be around notebooks and pens and Post-its, I'm a happy girl. Sharpies and scissors and glue--whoohoo! bring it on.
But after visiting Target twice in the last few days to get the stuff the kids need, I've decided that it is this time, back-to-school time, that is the worst when it comes to shopping.
It's hot. It's crowded. Kids are everywhere, be they slack-jawed sullen teenagers or the kindergartners hyped up on too much sugar shopping for their first lunch box.
Parents with supply lists in hand, standing in front of a million notebooks, frozen in time like I have nothing better to do than to wait for little Susie to, for the love of all that is school-related, pick one pick one PICK ONE.
Woman raging, break it up, aisle four.
There's stuff all over the place, and not in it's place. Like some kind of swap mart from hell, but without the smell of hot dogs and roasting mystery meat.
At least at Christmas time, when it's totally a zoo, people are in a good mood. Peace, goodwill and all that go a long way when you're gauging your speed against the lady with the bigcart and you're both angling for the last video game.
Good luck getting the last "1-inch, 3-ring binder" away from the 10 year old who pushed you out of the way to grab it first in full view of a parent who, conveniently avoiding your glare, crosses the item off their list and moves on to the next aisle.
And you comfort yourself with crazy thoughts that include discreetly adding items to her cart when she's not looking.
Like Vagisil, Preparation H, and a box of condoms. (I'm nothing if not mature.)