Tuesday, July 25, 2006

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

It's back-to-school time for us.  We started school yesterday.

Even though it's so hot that I'm sure there will be nothing but melted children returning to me at the end of the day.  Even though it feels like we just got out for the summer. 


And you know what else comes with back-to-school...

No, not oodles of free time with which to ignore laund--I mean, teach Audrey how to write her name...

Nope.  It's the back-to-school supply lists.

Ordinarily, if I have an excuse to be around notebooks and pens and Post-its, I'm a happy girl.  Sharpies and scissors and glue--whoohoo! bring it on.

But after visiting Target twice in the last few days to get the stuff the kids need, I've decided that it is this time, back-to-school time, that is the worst when it comes to shopping. 

It's hot.  It's crowded.  Kids are everywhere, be they slack-jawed sullen teenagers or the kindergartners hyped up on too much sugar shopping for their first lunch box.

Parents with supply lists in hand, standing in front of a million notebooks, frozen in time like I have nothing better to do than to wait for little Susie to, for the love of all that is school-related, pick one pick one PICK ONE.

Woman raging, break it up, aisle four.

There's stuff all over the place, and not in it's place.   Like some kind of swap mart from hell, but without the smell of hot dogs and roasting mystery meat. 

At least at Christmas time, when it's totally a zoo, people are in a good mood.  Peace, goodwill and all that go a long way when you're gauging your speed against the lady with the bigcart and you're both angling for the last video game.

But now? 

Good luck getting the last "1-inch, 3-ring binder" away from the 10 year old who pushed you out of the way to grab it first in full view of a parent who, conveniently avoiding your glare, crosses the item off their list and moves on to the next aisle.

And you comfort yourself with crazy thoughts that include discreetly adding items to her cart when she's not looking. 

Like Vagisil, Preparation H, and a box of condoms.  (I'm nothing if not mature.)


perkysgrl said...

I'm dreading those days...

Thankfully, we've got another
year of pre-school ahead of us...

Best of luck with those lists...


jevanslink said...

Do they still have trapper keepers or whatever they were called?   Mrs. L

jckfrstross said...

i am so gla i don't have to do the dreaded lists anymore:) my daughter said the other day she missed going and getting new supplies but not the school part lol good luck


screaminremo303 said...

I thought I was amongst cannibals last night at WalMart. Jr thought he was in paradise, with all the teen-ish half-nekkid nubiles running around. Next time I'm over there, I'm gonna check outside the store for the sign that reads:

No Shirt - No Shoes - No Shower...No Problem!!

Ignore Mrs. L - When she was last in school, they studied the Gettysburg address as current events.

If they used the condoms in the first place, we could shop in peace.

ekgillen said...

I can't get past the sentence that you are back in school already!  Griffin doesn't start until August 16th and that seemed early.  When do they get out for the summer?

candlejmr said...

This year, our PTA is having a Supply fundraiser.  My DS11 is headed into 7th grade and all I had to do was send in a check for $25 and ALL of his school supplies will be waiting for him on the first day of school!

Hell....I would have sent $50 in to avoid that Walmart insanity!! (lol)


bridgetteleigh75 said...


You may as well add a soap suds enema to the cart while you're at it.  *grin*

You're kids really start to school early.  Ours doesn't start until August 28.