Ladies and gentlemen, you will have to excuse me. I'm a little tipsy. In my cups, so to speak. And not the ones labeled a, b, or c. C, for the record. Yeah, baby.
I didn't intend to be tipsy, but I was Christmas shopping this evening with my Dad; then got home late. Mr W is out catching drunks, so I figured that since I've had a bottle of wine in my fridge since Thanksgiving, why not? The kids are asleep. I'm feeling a little...spirited. Maybe some wine will chill me out.
Not the chill factor I was looking for. If anything, I feel even more spirited, and just stopped myself short of sending a persuasive text message. Thank goodness for the internet. I'd really get into trouble without it.
Anyway, I cracked out some brie with my wine. Oh, my god. What happened to street tacos and tequila? Brie?
I succumbed to the siren call of the brie at Costco. Oh, yes, surprise, surprise, the sample ladies are on a mission. A mission from God, apparently, to let you have a taste, just a little taste...they are like the drug pushers of the culinary world. There you are, amidst gallons of olive oil, when a little old lady who looks like your Nana suggests you try some of her wares....and before you know it, you are justifying the purchase of a wedge of brie so buttery, so rich, that it's artery-clogging goodness could put down a brigade of Marines. Mmm. Marines...
Whoops. Distracted! Where was I?
I learned I have a new skill. Apparently, using a corkscrew is not as hard as it looks. Not only did I manage to open the bottle without incident, I saved the cork so I could at least pretend I wasn't intending on drinking it all and could re-cork like a pro. Sweet!
I took my chances with a knife, and there I stood, in the kitchen in my pj's; thin slices of a lovely apple, some round Melba snacks, brie, and a few glasses of wine. Throw in a hundred cats, and I'd be the perfect cliche.
I decided to put the bottle away, to maintain some semblance of dignity. (cue laugh track)
I took a gander at the Saturday Six, and here we go:
Boy, that's big. Is that a title in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
1. If you could receive only the gift of food this Christmas, which single item would you choose?
No brainer. An obscenely large container of Jane's fabulous almond toffee. Oh, she gave me the recipe, but it makes me cry because I can't do it as good as she can. I can't. Yes, this is a shameless, shameless attempt to get her to give me some. If I'm an expert at anything, it's shameless begging. Just ask my hus--- Ooops. <blush>
2. Dessert. What’s the first food that just came to mind when you read that word?
Pizzookie. I am new to the Pizzookie; a local Italian restaurant makes it; it's a gooey, warm chocolate chip cookie served warm in a 6 inch deep dish pizza pan with quality vanilla ice cream on top. Mmm, mmm, good. Next time, I will skip dinner for that, and not share. It's that yummy.
3. What do you eat more of when you’re trying to lose weight? After my previous response, I'm supposed to think of losing weight???? Veggies, like, DUU-UUuuh.
4. Take the quiz: What holiday food are you?
I know, I know--"Stupid quiz alert." Yet, I couldn't resist.
You Are a Gingerbread House A little spicy and a little sweet, anyone would like to be lost in the woods with you.
That's what I'm talking about---would this be the confectioner's version of "brick"?? Schhh--wing! :p
5. When you were a kid, did you ever really leave food for Santa Claus? If so, what was the typical fare you placed near the tree for Jolly Ol’ St. Nick?
Nah. But I may have left cookies and milk once. Now, as an adult, I am forced to leave out not only cookies and milk, but reindeer chow as well. Really. Maybe I'll leave out a little wine and brie this year. (Although I hear Santa is partial to margaritas.)
6. Do you tend to eat more, less, or about the same at Christmas dinner than you do at Thanksgiving dinner?
Bwahahahahaha. Really, who keeps track? I watch it, not to over indulge, but just try to get between me and my Christmas tamales. Try.
Hmm. Guess that's it.
Wow. It's 3 am. It appears I have a glass of wine to pour.
Eh, I'll probably just move Audrey over, and pour myself into bed.