Tuesday, May 4, 2010

If it's in a pot, I will kill it

Audrey is fascinated by plants.

Which is unfortunate, because I can't grow anything. I don't care what Martha has to say about how mint will overtake your yard, or how easy it is to grow your own herbs (oregano, basil, rosemary, not the medicinal kind)--I can't do it. Windowboxes, small containers, regular old school put-it-in-the-ground...I kill it all.

I was feeling little hopeful when I let Audrey buy a succulent plant. I'd just read in Martha Stewart Living about how easy they were to maintain. I had visions of growing up this plant to such proportions that I might be able to actually buy pots for it as it grew and someday, send Audrey off to college with her own plant that we grew together since she was a little girl.

She named him George.

And I underwatered him like I was supposed to. He eventually started to outgrow is little 2-inch pot so I got him a new home and we transferred him over.

He started losing leaves.

I didn't lose hope. His stalk was growing, I figured this was a natural progression, like when your child plumps up and then grows an inch overnight (there's a lot of that going on around here).

He eventually became just a stalk.

And now he's a stalk that's turning brown.

Only I could get a plant that usually thrives on a little neglect and still have it die. Ugh. I'm going to have a service for George soon, and I am sure the little one will be sad. He will join all the other plants I have attempted to grow for the children. I should put out little rock tombstones with their names painted on them: "Here lies Little Guy. He died with his roots on. RIP"

She will ask me to plant her sunflower seeds, and I will gamely try, just for her. We can plant them on the side of the house, the sunniest part of the yard. I will let her tend them and hopefully they will grow up and be taller than she is before long.

If only I could get the weeds in the backyard would succumb to my touch-of-green-death.......

8 comments:

Julie said...

I thought I alone as the plant killing queen! Glad I now have some competition.
www.mid-lifemama.blogspot.com

Missie said...

I've killed many plants and I'm sure I'll kill many more as the years go on. I do find if I leave them alone, they grow better. LOL

Remo said...

Whatever Dark Forces inhabit your thumb they are more than offset by your Kitchen Fu. Take heart!

p.s. Tell El Hefe that Hanson has a rototiller. When he thinks he's man enough, I'll come over and we can tag-team that bitchyard into shape.

But let's do it before July...

Astaryth said...

I used to kill plants then I discovered 2 things. Hanging baskets with the coconut liners and Miracle Grow moisture control potting soil. Seriously... I have plants... and they aren't dead LOL!

Karen said...

My sister and I used to joke that we considered what we payed for plants to be for renting them instead of buying them because we knew they would only last a few months. I just got some flowers that I planted in the fall to flower for the second time in the spring, a record for my 16 years in Arizona...

lil_pieces_of_heaven said...

Same here! Thank heavens for my husband who has 2 green toes on top of his green thumbs! As someone else commented, I find it is better to leave them be.

Trace's Space said...

Hey chica - it's been a LONG time - Trace's Space from over at AOL!

It's good to see you again!

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