Is it really stealing if I plan on returning it?

We are officially on Spring Break.  I have to work Saturday, and then I am free.

We're going to Sea World.  And Disneyland.  And California Adventure, too. 

All of them, not free.

I will be back at work in no time flat.

Here's the deal, though....

Wednesday after I picked up Ben, Ryan, and Audrey, we drove to one of my friends/coworker's houses. 

And I told Ben to get out of the car and steal her lawn gnome.  He gigglingly obliged, and even stuffed it under his shirt for effect.  As if stealing a lawn gnome in broad daylight isn't effect enough, my friend lives right by the Pleasantville police station where my husband works.

Whew, who knew one speeding ticket was the gateway to a life of crime?

Ve haf plans for ze gnome.

I'm taking it on our trip with us, and we will take pictures to record his follies.  I haven't decided yet whether I will email her pictures (from a fictitious email address) while we are there or just return him to his stump by her door with a fat wad of photos upon our return.

I'm hoping he doesn't decide on a side trip to Tijuana while we are in San Diego, and that he keeps his hands to himself while we are dining with the Princesses.

Speaking of keeping one's hands to oneself....

Mr W and I accompanied Audrey's kindergarten class to the zoo today.  It was great fun, especially when Audrey informed me that the brightly colored macaws were "rainbow birds."  I was hanging out with her and another group when I noticed Mr W had broken away from us to buy contraband (Diet Coke).   I was momentarily distracted from him by a little girl, a classmate of Audrey's, who came up and hugged me, out of the blue.  I'm not unaccustomed to that happening, I spend a lot of time at the school and a lot of the kids know me, but I was a little surprised.

A few minutes later, Mr W came up to me  with a weird look on his face.  I chalked it up to carbonation, but he said:  "You know that little girl in K's group?"  "Yeah, she hugged me as they went past."  "She just pinched my butt..."

I am sure that the entire zoo heard me crack up.

"...and it wasn't a little pinch, either, she got quite a handful."

I could only howl louder.

He was traumatized.  Goosed.  By a five year old.

(Before anyone gets all crazed, she meant nothing by it, it was really innocent.  The teacher was informed and after she spoke with Mr W, she said even though no harm was done, she'd have a word with the little girl about it, and let her know that it was inappropriate.)

I guess this means I'm going to have to stop teasing him about replacing me with a younger model.  :p