Here we go again

As I put the kids to bed earlier, I started to really think about what was making me so nuts.  I know one of the reasons, but the other was eluding me, until I let my mind really wander and hit it.

It's Mr W. 

He has to have surgery on his knee again for an old injury (long story) that he acquired at work.   Before I go on, bear in mind that this old set of injuries required four (?) different surgeries already, along with recovery/phys therapy/the works.  It was a long haul to get back to work to being with, not to mention back out on the street.  And although the next hurdle he's facing is supposedly not a big deal, it is. 

It's another six weeks or so of light duty, which he hates.  So he'll be extra special to be around, lol.  It's another few days of him being loopy on meds.   It's another couple of months of me holding my breath hoping that this'll be it.  Silly, I know that it's probably not, but I hope nonetheless that he'll be ok, feel as himself as possible.  No one tells you when they say 'hey, we can fix this' that what you get is an approximation of what you started with, as close as they can get, sure, but not the same. 

I have remained positive and supportive for him throughout all of this.  Hey, that's my job, right?  I don't want him to see me sweat, I want him to concentrate on healing.  I think I'm pretty good at it, too.  I'm so supportive, in fact, that I let him do what he got hurt doing to begin with a second time without batting an eyelash.  Encouraging him to go for it, breathing a sigh of relief every night when he got in.  (I get really annoyed when Mr W comes home with a story, like: "So-and-so said he wants to do narcotics/motors/whatever but he won't do it because his wife won't let him."  WTF??  Man, I don't get that, for a lot of reasons.  They're big boys, their job's dangerous no matter what their current 'specialty' is, let them do what makes them happiest, because happy is a good frame of mind to be in when you carry a gun to work.  But maybe that's just me.)

Anyway.

Today, I got a call from the dr's office telling us when they've got him scheduled for his procedure.  While his ortho is total eye candy, I am not looking forward to this at all. 

I'm sweating.  I'll admit it to myself, if not to him.  Luckily, I have friends that'll hold my hand when I need it, and won't think I'm not uber-wife when I let them really know what's going on in my head.

Whew.  Who can't use a few of those?